


Man, I feel like a woman!

by practicallygin



Category: Ratched (TV)
Genre: Change of appearance, F/F, First Love, Heartbreak, Period-Typical Homophobia, i don't know gwendolyn just got her first heartbreak as a teenager
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 10:22:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30003438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/practicallygin/pseuds/practicallygin
Summary: Gwendolyn is going through her first heartbreak and thinks changing her appearance will mend the relationship.
Relationships: Gwendolyn Briggs & Original Character(s)
Kudos: 4





	Man, I feel like a woman!

_ “You’re still my friend, Gwen. It’s just not right.” _

Martha was still at work, a conference keeping her busy for most of the day so when Gwendolyn ran into the house straight to her room, the tears fell so freely from her face. It wasn’t fair, she had done everything to make it work. To show Emily that they could make it work even if their love was forbidden. They just had to give it a try.

_ “It’s a sin, Gwen. Two girls shouldn’t be together.” _

Maybe she should have thought about it before kissing and being with her in the first place. She probably just used her because she was curious anyway. More tears spilled from her face and all the young redhead wanted to do was scream in distress.  _ It wasn’t fair _ . She walked over to her vanity, throwing the few things on top of it down to the floor. What was the point of it anyway? Eyes reddened, tears still falling from her face, Gwendolyn looked into the mirror. How pathetic she looked. No wonder Emily didn’t want to be with her.

_ Two girls shouldn’t be together. _

Well, maybe if she didn’t look so much like a girl she would change her mind. Who would be able to judge them? Without much thinking she rushed over to her desk, looking for a pair of scissors. If she rather wanted to be with a boy, fine, then she will just have to look like one. Back at the mirror, heavy panting being the only sound in the room, Gwendolyn grabbed a strand of her hair. How she loved it; her red strands, her pride. But they were a problem. Not allowing any second thoughts, the first cut was done. The second one followed. A third, fourth, fifth. The girl was so determined, strands of red fell to the floor.

It only took her a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity. Once she was done, scissors falling down as well, she looked into the mirror once more, realizing what she had just done. Her Beautiful locks were gone, she was left with a boyish hairstyle.  _ Good _ , she thought at first,  _ just what I wanted _ . But when her gaze fell down to the strands surrounding her, the regret came. Her beautiful hair, the one thing she took so much pride in, the one thing her mother loved to play with so much. Her mother, oh what would she say about it? She would ground her, surely. But it was worth it, right? If it made Emily come back to her?

She couldn’t allow herself to grief. What a strange concept, grieving because of her hair. But it had been such an important part of her. Gwendolyn shook her head, tearing her gaze away from the hair on the floor before walking over to her wardrobe. She needed to change her clothes, this stupid dress her mother made her wear. Careful not to rip it despite the rush, she took it of and threw it onto her bed before disappearing between the clothes in her wardrobe. Those brown pants and her checked blouse, they must have been the closest thing to boyish clothes she owned; they had to be perfect.

Changing into them was quick, and soon she found herself in the bathroom, taking a look at herself in the bigger mirror. This wasn’t the Gwendolyn she was used to seeing. Was it Gwendolyn at all? She seemed like such a stranger to herself. But her eyes didn’t lie, it was her. Shaky fingers would reach up to touch the messy hair, regret still heavy in her heart.

This was what Emily wanted? A lie? She could live a lie, but she couldn’t lose herself. Was it even worth it?


End file.
